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Conzz's Tattoos
2 min read
I did a journal on my main for my tattoos, I will promote PadlockPunk and show his here:
he's a dick because he didn't upload all of them, let alone UPDATED ONES OF THE ONES HE DID UPLOAD to deviantART but it's okay I'll get them for you:
(ignore the mess of December or whenever it was, it's not much different now except what the mess IS but yeah ignore it and also it's not red, that was when it was freshly done... it's just a pretty black/grey shaded piece)
(before the roses)
(and because I have no more angles with the roses you can have my coloured work)
(it looks sore because this was taken after he got it... none of them healed gfdi Connor you fail as a camera whore)
(how the stomach looks atm)
(other arm... well I can't do that right now so you have to suffer without it sorryyyy D: but it looks nice it's a retro microphone with blue roses)
(finally the shoulder)
he's a dick because he didn't upload all of them, let alone UPDATED ONES OF THE ONES HE DID UPLOAD to deviantART but it's okay I'll get them for you:
(ignore the mess of December or whenever it was, it's not much different now except what the mess IS but yeah ignore it and also it's not red, that was when it was freshly done... it's just a pretty black/grey shaded piece)
(before the roses)
(and because I have no more angles with the roses you can have my coloured work)
(it looks sore because this was taken after he got it... none of them healed gfdi Connor you fail as a camera whore)
(how the stomach looks atm)
(other arm... well I can't do that right now so you have to suffer without it sorryyyy D: but it looks nice it's a retro microphone with blue roses)
(finally the shoulder)
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Looking Back
3 min read
It's weird, coming onto this account and having a look around. A proper look around, not just uploading something to my gallery, then quickly logging back out.
The last journal I wrote on this account was from roughly this time last year. Looking back, and reading that journal, I was still unhappy and you can clearly see that because of what I wrote and the way I wrote about it.
I think I was still hurt because of the certain friendship I mentioned where I wasn't valued as much as they valued me, and they left me without explaining what I had done (perhaps that was through a guilt of their own).
Heck, they said that internet friends weren't real which sucked because they were real to me. I thought that friendship was real. It doesn't even matter now, but back then I still wondered why people would be like that, and how people can be so heartless (I know though, that it's easy for some people because to them, it's just a "screen"... I suppose it's kinda like having NPC friends in games).
I know they talked badly about me behind my back (for reasons), so I know the self-claiming "nice person" was a hypocrite for having done the same thing they apparently didn't like others doing.
I wonder now, since they accused me of "talking shit", if they thought I posted some of the anonymous hate confessions about their friend(s). I certainly didn't (besides, I wouldn't want to say something, regret it, but have it thrown in my face because my IP was somehow tracked), however this person was blinded enough to believe that these people were pure gold so to them, since they only knew that I didn't like them (despite the fact that everyone I was friends with didn't like these people either), I can... sort of see why it might have been safe to assume it was me. That's better than to know that a lot of people have a problem with your friend.
I hope this wasn't an assumption that was made about me, but it makes some more sense when I look back with more clarity and a wiser mind.
But, that doesn't matter.
If you look at the journals on my other account, I'm generally more positive. I don't complain about how "people treat me so bad" unless it's related to a point I'm trying to make. I don't whine on about silly things, or how tough my life is. If I've had a fight, I'll only mention it if I feel I need to (I've had a lot more incidents with people than just Dion!) I don't know, I'd like to think I'm mature about what I write there, and a lot more positive and just... bright? I'd like to use the word bright.
A lot has changed since I wrote that journal on this account last year. I'm a more positive person and I'm a lot happier. I don't even spend as much time on the internet or even the computer anymore (*gasp* I have a life now?!)
Those people are meaningless and I'm glad they're gone from my life.
Now I'll do another journal so that the next time I look back, it won't be anything related to that mess, lol.
The last journal I wrote on this account was from roughly this time last year. Looking back, and reading that journal, I was still unhappy and you can clearly see that because of what I wrote and the way I wrote about it.
I think I was still hurt because of the certain friendship I mentioned where I wasn't valued as much as they valued me, and they left me without explaining what I had done (perhaps that was through a guilt of their own).
Heck, they said that internet friends weren't real which sucked because they were real to me. I thought that friendship was real. It doesn't even matter now, but back then I still wondered why people would be like that, and how people can be so heartless (I know though, that it's easy for some people because to them, it's just a "screen"... I suppose it's kinda like having NPC friends in games).
I know they talked badly about me behind my back (for reasons), so I know the self-claiming "nice person" was a hypocrite for having done the same thing they apparently didn't like others doing.
I wonder now, since they accused me of "talking shit", if they thought I posted some of the anonymous hate confessions about their friend(s). I certainly didn't (besides, I wouldn't want to say something, regret it, but have it thrown in my face because my IP was somehow tracked), however this person was blinded enough to believe that these people were pure gold so to them, since they only knew that I didn't like them (despite the fact that everyone I was friends with didn't like these people either), I can... sort of see why it might have been safe to assume it was me. That's better than to know that a lot of people have a problem with your friend.
I hope this wasn't an assumption that was made about me, but it makes some more sense when I look back with more clarity and a wiser mind.
But, that doesn't matter.
If you look at the journals on my other account, I'm generally more positive. I don't complain about how "people treat me so bad" unless it's related to a point I'm trying to make. I don't whine on about silly things, or how tough my life is. If I've had a fight, I'll only mention it if I feel I need to (I've had a lot more incidents with people than just Dion!) I don't know, I'd like to think I'm mature about what I write there, and a lot more positive and just... bright? I'd like to use the word bright.
A lot has changed since I wrote that journal on this account last year. I'm a more positive person and I'm a lot happier. I don't even spend as much time on the internet or even the computer anymore (*gasp* I have a life now?!)
Those people are meaningless and I'm glad they're gone from my life.
Now I'll do another journal so that the next time I look back, it won't be anything related to that mess, lol.
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Devious Journal Entry
4 min read
i was in bed and as i was falling asleep, i just started thinking about things.
everything really. it's been a while since i've done that.
i have this habit of just not thinking about anything that upsets me but sometimes the thoughts somehow come forward and i cant stop them
they're always there subconsciously, it's my life after all, so i guess it's impossible to stop them sometimes.
it's all crap really.
one thing made me remember how i was ditched like shit because someone decided they were going to have either me or someone else
now that i think about it, that's happened twice my entire life (one of them apologised a year later, which i appreciated since i never actually spoke to them about it (in fact, i stopped speaking to them full stop) so they realised they were an ass all on their own. the other will have to fucking beg on their knees before i consider accepting an apology from them)
no one gave them the choice, they decided it themselves
maybe they don't like having too many people to think about at once
i've never made anyone else choose between their friends, i'd never dream of it no matter how much i hated their friends (the only thing i would want is their understanding that i have a very good reason not to like them and to not try to force me to like anyone. that's a bit disrespectful)
i've been made to choose before by someone else. it's something i hate and refuse to do
i had to choose between my friends and my ex. eventually, i just lost touch with them anyway and even after trying to regain those bonds, they'd already moved on and i was just something from the past.
i was also made to choose between family and my ex, obviously that wasn't easily done and pissed off my ex. tried to say my mum was evil. i never really stood up to my ex, but i did when my mum was accused of being evil (if anything, my family's the opposite in that they care a lot for people and animals, even raising money to help unfortunate animals and people).
i wouldn't want to make anyone else choose between people they care about like that.
i've had friends who had other friends i didn't like, don't get me wrong (and this has been so many times, even now - you won't always like the people your friends like to talk to), but i never once told them they shouldn't be friends
i only said what i didn't like about them when asked
and you know, i got a bit angry when me and an individual fell out and they stopped speaking to my friend (and they were good friends before). i thought it was unfair because they had nothing to do with our fall out, and they're their own person i don't expect anyone to take sides when i'm on bad terms with someone
especially because i hate being told not to like someone or to block them when i don't even have a reason to dislike them, it's awkward and i feel like if i say no, they'll assume i'm not on their "side" when it's not even about that (and it's funny how they didn't exactly offer or think of doing the same for me in return, which is a bit one sided)
i don't get why people have to make others choose, or why they make themselves choose between people.
well, i get why certain people in relationships do it, they're controlling assholes
but when people make themselves choose, i don't get it. maybe it's just an excuse to get rid of someone.
i want to go into some other stuff but there's certain people i know in real life that stalk my deviantart and bitched about things i've said in journals and comments, twisting things i've said (maybe you've noticed this past year that I barely write anything any more in my journals) but of course, i don't want to give them an excuse this time
and since it's real life stuff, they'll know even if it's written vaguely
i suppose the conclusion is that i just hate people in general. they're unpredictable, and many of them (even the ones you least expect) are so damn selfish and careless that it's easy for them to dump you like trash if you're not the person they want you to be (in other words, a stupid fake)
ugh, sorry but i needed to ramble about something. it's one of those moments.
everything really. it's been a while since i've done that.
i have this habit of just not thinking about anything that upsets me but sometimes the thoughts somehow come forward and i cant stop them
they're always there subconsciously, it's my life after all, so i guess it's impossible to stop them sometimes.
it's all crap really.
one thing made me remember how i was ditched like shit because someone decided they were going to have either me or someone else
now that i think about it, that's happened twice my entire life (one of them apologised a year later, which i appreciated since i never actually spoke to them about it (in fact, i stopped speaking to them full stop) so they realised they were an ass all on their own. the other will have to fucking beg on their knees before i consider accepting an apology from them)
no one gave them the choice, they decided it themselves
maybe they don't like having too many people to think about at once
i've never made anyone else choose between their friends, i'd never dream of it no matter how much i hated their friends (the only thing i would want is their understanding that i have a very good reason not to like them and to not try to force me to like anyone. that's a bit disrespectful)
i've been made to choose before by someone else. it's something i hate and refuse to do
i had to choose between my friends and my ex. eventually, i just lost touch with them anyway and even after trying to regain those bonds, they'd already moved on and i was just something from the past.
i was also made to choose between family and my ex, obviously that wasn't easily done and pissed off my ex. tried to say my mum was evil. i never really stood up to my ex, but i did when my mum was accused of being evil (if anything, my family's the opposite in that they care a lot for people and animals, even raising money to help unfortunate animals and people).
i wouldn't want to make anyone else choose between people they care about like that.
i've had friends who had other friends i didn't like, don't get me wrong (and this has been so many times, even now - you won't always like the people your friends like to talk to), but i never once told them they shouldn't be friends
i only said what i didn't like about them when asked
and you know, i got a bit angry when me and an individual fell out and they stopped speaking to my friend (and they were good friends before). i thought it was unfair because they had nothing to do with our fall out, and they're their own person i don't expect anyone to take sides when i'm on bad terms with someone
especially because i hate being told not to like someone or to block them when i don't even have a reason to dislike them, it's awkward and i feel like if i say no, they'll assume i'm not on their "side" when it's not even about that (and it's funny how they didn't exactly offer or think of doing the same for me in return, which is a bit one sided)
i don't get why people have to make others choose, or why they make themselves choose between people.
well, i get why certain people in relationships do it, they're controlling assholes
but when people make themselves choose, i don't get it. maybe it's just an excuse to get rid of someone.
i want to go into some other stuff but there's certain people i know in real life that stalk my deviantart and bitched about things i've said in journals and comments, twisting things i've said (maybe you've noticed this past year that I barely write anything any more in my journals) but of course, i don't want to give them an excuse this time
and since it's real life stuff, they'll know even if it's written vaguely
i suppose the conclusion is that i just hate people in general. they're unpredictable, and many of them (even the ones you least expect) are so damn selfish and careless that it's easy for them to dump you like trash if you're not the person they want you to be (in other words, a stupid fake)
ugh, sorry but i needed to ramble about something. it's one of those moments.
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I dunno, sorry but...
2 min read
"on next, see what the U.S. did with The Inbetweeners"
*instantly changes channel*
No. No thank you.
I can't watch that, it feels wrong and I know I'll be grimacing all the way through. The Inbetweeners is a show about British teenage boys that are kind of lame (but brilliant).
I feel like making an "American" version ruins what made the actual, original show so special. Maybe it's just me but it seems that we see SO much about American teenage boys at high school who are kind of failures with girls and everything, but there doesn't seem to be a lot of that with the UK.
What's wrong with the original, anyway? Okay, other than the fact that the UK seem a bit lazier than the US in that a typical series is about 6 episodes long in comparison to their 20-ish episodes per season. I admit, that can be sucky, I love longer series.
idk maybe I seem like a jerk here but I don't think the UK has made "British" versions of US shows, and we're fine with that, we're fans of their original versions.
If anything, we seem to have more US shows on than UK sometimes (especially on channel 4 with it's constant re-runs of How I Met Your Mother and New Girl and that Mindy Project or whatever it's called, Big Bang Theory, The Rules of Engagement, Everybody Loves Raymond, Fraiser, Broke Girls and some years ago we got never-ending Friends every damn day) which is crazy, huh?
I saw the pilot of a US version of The IT Crowd and it was horrible, to say the least (except for Moss of course).
And let me just say that I am sure British versions of things like Supernatural, House, and the other shows I mentioned before would seem completely awful in comparison. Seriously, I don't like the thought of a British Sam and Dean, it seems so wrong.
TL;DR: Cant we all just leave the awesome shows, movies, books, everything the way they are and not try remaking them?
Originality is way better anyway!
*instantly changes channel*
No. No thank you.
I can't watch that, it feels wrong and I know I'll be grimacing all the way through. The Inbetweeners is a show about British teenage boys that are kind of lame (but brilliant).
I feel like making an "American" version ruins what made the actual, original show so special. Maybe it's just me but it seems that we see SO much about American teenage boys at high school who are kind of failures with girls and everything, but there doesn't seem to be a lot of that with the UK.
What's wrong with the original, anyway? Okay, other than the fact that the UK seem a bit lazier than the US in that a typical series is about 6 episodes long in comparison to their 20-ish episodes per season. I admit, that can be sucky, I love longer series.
idk maybe I seem like a jerk here but I don't think the UK has made "British" versions of US shows, and we're fine with that, we're fans of their original versions.
If anything, we seem to have more US shows on than UK sometimes (especially on channel 4 with it's constant re-runs of How I Met Your Mother and New Girl and that Mindy Project or whatever it's called, Big Bang Theory, The Rules of Engagement, Everybody Loves Raymond, Fraiser, Broke Girls and some years ago we got never-ending Friends every damn day) which is crazy, huh?
I saw the pilot of a US version of The IT Crowd and it was horrible, to say the least (except for Moss of course).
And let me just say that I am sure British versions of things like Supernatural, House, and the other shows I mentioned before would seem completely awful in comparison. Seriously, I don't like the thought of a British Sam and Dean, it seems so wrong.
TL;DR: Cant we all just leave the awesome shows, movies, books, everything the way they are and not try remaking them?
Originality is way better anyway!
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I had a MMDC dream
2 min read
someone (who isn't even IN the MMD community) was having some kind of a session for people of the MMDC, and someone I dislike was there. We were show-casing our "improved" modelling skills (I suppose we must have had a few learning sessions or something)
So the person I dislike; their models are lazy and quite frankly, rubbish and didn't improve at all; and since I don't like them anyway and I was filled with rage from the... un-fairness that they were even there (well it was a wasted effort after all, wasn't it?), I grabbed a fistful of his hair, and smashed his head into a wall. I did that a few times, actually.
I'm not a violent person in real life, but in "dream-world", it's surprisingly satisfying to do.
then I had a really weird dream about giant aliens and stuff but I just thought I'll share the MMD dream for now, since it's related to you lot. okay, a group I don't actually remember and one person I don't even like - and we avoid each other like a plague... well, I do with him at least, so he will never know.
but now you guys do
gotta go now, boring things I need to do todaywith breaks of Sims Medieval to keep me "going", but that's a secret
okay it's not really
So the person I dislike; their models are lazy and quite frankly, rubbish and didn't improve at all; and since I don't like them anyway and I was filled with rage from the... un-fairness that they were even there (well it was a wasted effort after all, wasn't it?), I grabbed a fistful of his hair, and smashed his head into a wall. I did that a few times, actually.
I'm not a violent person in real life, but in "dream-world", it's surprisingly satisfying to do.
then I had a really weird dream about giant aliens and stuff but I just thought I'll share the MMD dream for now, since it's related to you lot. okay, a group I don't actually remember and one person I don't even like - and we avoid each other like a plague... well, I do with him at least, so he will never know.
but now you guys do
gotta go now, boring things I need to do today
okay it's not really
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